| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|08:49 pm] |
New el-jay.
kuh_aisle.
do it friends? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2005|07:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mixed nuts | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bright eyes- loose leaves | ] |
Today was an amazingly stressful day. I got yelled at for not being a focused student. That's no dice since I do more than pretty much everyone. It motivated me, and I made a movie that is being shown tomorrow, and started doing a bunch of other junk to try and get things caught up.
I was dying because of all the yelling and then I read an email from Maya and it made my day. I guess her councelor saw us together and asked her about me and she said some real nice things that made me smile. Goodtimes.
I finished my painting and matted it today. It'll be displayed in our fine arts fair next week along with some of my other work that sucks haha.
I've taken over this years Anti-Drug video because no one else is capable of working and I have a week to make it. I made the storyboard today and I'm trying to get some interviews but it's way hard. I don't know how I'm going to pull it off. I need help so bad, but there is no help anywhere for me to find it. Everyone else is so caught up in their "busy" schedule that they don't have time to help me. I swear that people don't think I have a life, and because of no help, it's true.
Saturday I'm hanging out with Maya and I've got a surprise for her...I hope she likes it.
FOOL. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2005|06:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | <3 | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | underoath- young and aspiring | ] |
The day was long. I waited till 8th period as patient as I could. That's when I got to go see my love. I met her at her school and we walked to the park we always walk to. We sat on this bench, and that's when she handed me a pair of her pants. I've only been trying to get them from her for like a billion years haha. "I bet they're too big for you Kyle...". Yeah, uh she's wrong because I just put them on and they're the tightest of all tight pants. It's really like i'm not wearing any.
We cuddled on the bench for a long time trying to keep warm in the rain. She gave me some chapstick too, three kinds!
I've never been so happy. We sat there hugging and cuddling, talking and laughing. Her smile is amazing. Everything about her is amazing. I don't know how I ended up with such a wonderful, perfect girl. I love her so much<3
I might even see her on Saturday too. It kind of depends on her sister and if she's being kewl or being lame (lets hope kewl).
Friday, Breton, Matt, maybe Shelley and I are hanging out downtown. Matt hasn't really been downtown so me and Breton are taking him so he can get a book on steriods haha.
Sunday, HOPEFULLY, I'll see my slut. I miss her so fucking much. You all have no idea. She's amazing and I love her.
FOOL. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 16th, 2005|04:41 pm] |
Maya and I have been together for three months! It's been an amazing three months, and tomorrow I'll see her afterschool, I'm so excited. Everytime I see her, it gets better. This weekend we're going to go see a movie or something...I don't know, but we'll be together and that's all that I care about.
I've been hanging out with my friend Breton a lot lately, everyone seems to be busy but we're losers so we chill together, and he's been introducing me to different poetry and books. He found this poem and said it reminded him of me and Maya...I couldn't agree more:
It seemed like years before I picked a bouquet of kisses off her mouth and put them into a dawn-colored vase in my heart
But the wait was worth it.
Because I was in love.
Breton let me borrow a Charles Bukowski book. I read that this weekend, and it was pretty much amazing. Haha, he's like the ultimate guy. Here's one of his poems...word....for....word:
I got drunk.
Saw this girl, it was tight
I got her drunk
It was uber tight
FIN.
Yeah pretty much.
Nothing else really happened in my time being gone. I think I payed Michelle off finally. I hope I don't owe her anymore money because I don't have anymore...
FOOL. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2005|11:53 pm] |
|
Hi. Kyle, my BABYLOVEFACE, only has broken internet. As we all know. BROKEN INTERNET IS ABOUT AS USELESS AS HEALTH CLASS. So I, miss baeyelee wood, will be updating for him because I am cool and he is cool and you guys are cool and we are just all all all cooooooooooooooooooool together.
ONWARD!
Kyle has been fucking sluts and snorting blow off of fly bitch's titties. And for the info, he likes his butt punched. AKA, hes been at school and in the cadre where he sleeps and lives and wears flannel and grows a beard. ALSO. TODAY. He spent time with Leah. Who I got an opportunity to SPEAK WITH. Or type to, rather. And she said to have a fabulous day and everything in the world was right. Pretty much.
Then also, he made a new screen name to match mine. See here: buuutt punch
buuutt punch: punch my butthole?
cuuunt punch: punch my cunthole?
cuuunt punch: haha
buuutt punch: yeah!
buuutt punch: hhahaha
buuutt punch: take turns
buuutt punch: AT THE SAME TIME
cuuunt punch: AHAHAHA
cuuunt punch: WHY ARE WE SOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
buuutt punch: hahahaha
Dont deny it. We ARE pretty cool. Im tired now. Now I will go to sleep.
WAIT JUST ONE MORE THING.
KYLE LOVES MAYA A LOT A LOT AND DONT YOU GUYS EVER FORGET IT. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|04:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tee hee | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | led zeppelin- the ocean | ] |
ummm....
 |
|
|
| sirens feed my nightmare |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|11:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bleh | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | thrice-deadbolt | ] |
Wow. It's been awhile since I've been on considering i almost updated like every day because I'm kewl.
A lot of things have happened between the last post and now, most of them would take to much time to write about and no one would really read it. I don't expect people to read as much as it's nice for me to put my thoughts and events down on something, but I'm lazy.
One thing that hasn't happened since the last post, is I haven't seen Maya since then. I miss her more than ever. I might see her Saturday but my chances are looking bleak. It's been too long.
-she's still grounded
-it's been a week since I've seen her
-Sunday she's leaving somewhere, I won't be able to talk to her
Not talking for a day doesn't seem like a big deal but when that's all you have, then you want it more than anything. It's hard.
-Prom Saturday night...that should be fun...
-Sunday being a kewl kid and working at school probably
I MISS:
-my love
-my sluts
-my gangsta
I hope you're having a great time gangsta.
Slut, I hope you like your job.
Slut #2, I still haven't seen your braceless face
I miss you all. |
|
|
| i won't cross these streets until you hold my hand |
[Apr. 13th, 2005|11:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amazing | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | rise against- swing life away | ] |
Yesterday I went and saw Maya for lunch. I thought it would be nice to bring her some tea to warm her up on such a cold day but in the midst of my walk, I was stopped by a lady. She was trying to get me to adopt a baby. I told her I wasn't ready for the commitment and that I don't even have enough money for myself to live. She said, "Then how did you buy that coffee? You could stop buying one of those a week and have enough money for a child." She was right but she creeped me out. These people make me nervous. What did I start to do? I had that tea in my hand, so I started drinking. By the time she got done making me feel like shit for not adopting one, the tea was gone. "Why don't you talk this over with your girlfriend, you could split the fee, and have a child...". Whoa. I got out of their way quick.
I met Maya at her school and we walked to the park. I told her about hte tea and all that. I tried hard. We pretty much own that place. We sat down on a bench and started to cuddle but the rain and wind were too overpowering. I was shaking and my teeth were chattering. We went to a coffee shop and Maya bought some tea haha. It really warmed me up.
Michelle wasn't having a good day so when I met up with my gangsta Katie, we road the bus to the mall so we could meet and hang out with Michelle. We had a fantabulous time watching Spiderman. Katie and I's favorite part is when uncle Ben is dying and he gargles "Peeeterrrr" but it sounds like he says peanut. It was nice. We dropped Katie off and picked up Carla and Cilla. The crunk was almost about ready to start!
We got back to the house and waited for Matt to get off work. He got us beer and junk and we started to be real gangstas. Pretty soon I was drunk, and they were pouring out my beer and telling me I drank it. I was so confused haha. I fell down some stairs and decided it would be better just to slide down them like a penguin. I'm smart! I got help up the stairs and into the bathroom where all 5 apples and half of a banana, peel and all, came up. I sat there looking at the clock on the cold bathroom floor. Not till this morning did I realize that the clock was broken and that the time wasn't changing. Michelle came in and helped me up and to the bedroom. I passed out at the door and I guess it took a couple of minutes to get me up in there. The rest is history.
This morning, I pretty much died. Worst hangover I've ever had. Everything was so loud and just killing my head. My chest hurt, I had bruises all over my body. I sat at the bus stop, sun so bright burning my eyes, and waited. I never realized how loud the traffic was! An ambulance came by with it's sirens pretty much driving a knife in my head. I thought i was going to die. Right after that, the bus drove right past me. I had to wait another half hour. I was late to meeting Maya. I only saw her for like 5 minutes.
When I got to her school, she gave me an envelope with directions on it.
At 7:00, meet Leah at the square. Do not open this until then
I tried to wait, but I couldn't. It was $15.00 to go get an Atmosphere ticket! She couldn't come because she was grounded, and decided that she'd get me money because I couldn't go either. She worked out this whole plan to get me to the concert and have it be a surprise<3 How amazing is she. The concert was sold out but sitting there in the cold hoping that a scalper would have some tickets, started to get me to think that Atmosphere wasn't going to be that kewl. What was kewl, was having a girlfriend to care enough to make something like this happen for me. I love her so much for this.
Tomorrow is our 2 month anniversary<3
I'm starting something to give to Maya, it'll be pretty much amazing. I've got a lot of ideas. Hopefully they'll drive me in a very creative way to show my feelings for her and to convey a message of love through a different way other than just saying it. I hope she'll like it.
Last night amazing. MY slut Michelle, amazing. Thank you for taking care of me last night. She came in a couple times during the night to make sure I was alright<3 Other slut Lacey, I miss you and I wish you could of been there. We'll get crunk together soon. Kim, I reallly hope you feel better. Carla, it was nice meeting you, you're way kewl. Gangsta Katie, you're amazing, I hope your next couple of days go quick so you can go to Boston and have an amazing time. Maya, you're so sweet and cute. I love you so much, thanks for everything<3 Cilla, you have a poopy tampon in your butt haha<3 Matt, thanks for the alcohol and for watching out for me.
I just realized, half of those people don't have el jays. Oh wizzle. Goodtimes. I'm going to go to bed, listening to music on my new computer! It's a Macintosh G3! Very radical.
I love you all.
Kyle |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|11:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happyXcore | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Thrice-cold cash, colder hearts (acoustic bitchaches) | ] |
Today was amazing. This weekend has been amazing.
Today, I went to church with Michelle and Lacey. Avery was there and afterwards we all went to Taco Bell. Avery got a cup that he could win 1 million pesos (88 thousand dollars) but he entered the code when he got home and won nothing. Michelle was a nice slut and took me to get the Thrice DVD because she knows how much I like them. How amazing is she? We went back to my house to watch it, and I looked at her and she didn't look to happy but she didn't say anything. She was watching it just because I wanted too<3 She's an amazing friend.
Thrice DVD includes: Early concerts, biographies on each person as well as the band as one, 3 music videos, a bunch of live concert videos, out takes ofcourse! The CD has 9 songs, some acoustic versions, some unreleased, a couple played for child benefit concerts, and one is all keyboard version of one of their older songs. Thrice is amazing, kthx bye.
My parents were home and were being all high and what not so we went in my room to color pictures. She punch my butthole a lot and it hurt. Anal sex isn't for this kid.
Maya called me and we talked about things. She made me feel better because I felt like I wasn't there for her when she needed me but she said stuff that told me that I was there. "Thank you so much for listening, and helping me with everything, I really appreciate it Kyle. You're the best." Yeah, that made me happy because I love to make her feel good. Badtimes with Leah, but we worked it all out, and through this, I've learned more about Maya which is good. I still wish none of it had happened but it's over.
No money=no Atmoshpere
Tomorrow after school, I'm meeting Avery downtown Milwaukie to go get Diana's birthday present from him. Such a rad guy. Avery pretty much owns all. Be jealous.
Tuesday:
I'm sleeping in and then waking up and going to meet my love for lunch. I miss her like whoa. I'll see her Wednesday too! Then I'm hanging out downtown until 3:30 I think to meet my gangsta Katie. Michelle is coming too! I'm so excited, my slut, my love, my gangsta, all within three hours or so. I can't wait. I miss Katie so much too. I'm glad I'll see her before her big trip.
Goodtimes this weekend. A lot more I didn't say because I always write too much anyway. Good night el jay'rs.
<3,
Kyle |
|
|
| we'll let our passion bleed |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|08:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | headache | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | thrice- lockstep | ] |
Yesterday I didn't have anything to do and talked to Dustin. I went over to their guy's apartment and him and Beverly were watching FACE/OFF. Amazing movie. We sat around and then Dave came over building suhweet ring tones on his suhweet IBook. Dustin and I went outside and talked for like 15 minutes or something. He gave me some good advice on some things that are going on in my life. It's nice having help with that because he's gone through what I'm going through because he started the whole thing. He's done so much for me, no matter how much all of it stresses me out, I wouldn't be who I am today with out him paving the way in front of me. He's an amazing guy.
We went to a Music Haven meeting and got free pizza. Free meals are a good way to end a good day.
I woke up and I was so tired and was sleeping so good, I decided just to keep doing it and go to the last half of my classes. I missed a billion busses and ended up getting there for the last period. All we did was take notes and watch a movie, it was rad.
Waiting for the bus at the mall today, I decided I wanted one of those gangsta corn dogs I ate with Katie, my gangsta. Jeovanny's sister works there and gave me a free meal. I'm getting lucky with food lately. I love it.
I talked to Maya. I miss her so much. She's grounded but I think she got all her grades and stuff up before they were sent out today. That means she won't be all stressed out and upset. She's one of those people that you depend on to help yourself when you're upset, so when something is wrong with her, then things aren't good. She's a great person and does so much for so many people, and so much for me. I love her so much.
Leah couldn't hang out today, she was really tired. I don't know where Randy went after school. I chilled solo.
I didn't find any pants at the mall for prom. I think I'm going to result to going to the good ol' Goodwills with Beverly, Dave, and Madeline tomorrow. That should be more fun and easier than going and looking at junk by myself.
I'm going to Dustin's tonight and we're going to chill like none other, him, me, Anthony and Tyler and maybe some others. I'm not really sure, but I miss all of them, I'm glad I'm seeing them tonight.
So for Putnam's prom, going to go with Madeline, Beverly, Dave, Anthony, and Carla. I think that's her name. Anyway, good times right thurrr. Milwaukie's prom I'm going to have to round up some money real quick. Andrea is supposed to go with me but I got to get some money otherwise not good. Haha, I'm glad Andrea might come because otherwise I would be there just with a camera, this way she can see Melissa and whatnot. I like it when things work out and come together. |
|
|
| take my hand and i'll take yours, let our passion bleed |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|10:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | better/sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | thrice- t & c | ] |
I couldn't sleep last night. Ever since spring break, I've only been getting about 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night. It's starting to wear me out. I'm falling asleep in class and pretty much everywhere.
I'm close to having all my grades caught up though. No more F's! Tomorrow I'll have to catch up in reading my book, and a couple of history assignments along with studying for an astronomy test. Astronomy is probably the least important of my classes and I learn in it, just really useless stuff. Because of it, I can name clouds! Seriously, try me, I'll own you.
Hopefully I'll see Maya soon. I already miss her but she's grounded. After Friday, I think things will be going a lot better for her. I just wish I could be there to help more instead of just talking to her. Tonight, we sat back and looked at all the amazing things that have happened so far. I remember every time seeing her<3 I remember going back after meeting her for lunch and just telling Randy how great she was, talking for like a half hour about her. I pretty much was killing him haha. He's a good friend for listening to me.
Me and Michelle are okay again<3 That pretty much needed to happen. I've had a lot of bad things going on and that one was really hurting me, and her too. We talked about everything today and decided that if she is feeling something, that she will come out and tell it instead of just being angry and then we'll talk about it. That goes for me too. We need to talk more, that's it. I miss her like whoa and I know she's having a hardtime too. My heart goes out to my slut. Hopefully we'll hang out soon, like this weekend.
Today, Randy and I recorded another cover. This one is Tom Petty- Free Fallin. It's probably the best out of the two. The other one is Kansas- Dust in the Wind. If you'd like to hear these songs, IM me gorgeousXcore. I've sent it to some of you already. It's pretty much amazing. We're going to make a cd and go downtown, have people listen to it and film they're reactions. If you haven't heard the songs yet, then this idea sounds pretty lame, but if I've sent them too you, youll understand haha.
I found my gift certificate to Fred Meyer's today! It has $15.00 on it. The new Thrice dvd/cd is $19.99, I'm wishing for it to be at the Fred Meyers. My hopes aren't too high though. When I get it, Maya is going to come over and we're going to watch it together<3 I started learning Thrice's T & C song. It's way awesome. I want to be able to play the whole thing and then show Maya but I don't know if I can do it. Tee hee, I learned a Strokes song for her, I wish I could sing though, that would be nice.
Gonna try and catch up on that thing called sleep. Hope you all have a fantastic day tomorrow.
Love,
Kyle
P.S.
Randy's mom said that I wasn't gay to her anymore, now I just have to prove my manhood to his beast of a father. Wish me luck. |
|
|
| ...all eyes on me, i can't take the pressure... |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|10:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | thrice-blood clots and black holes | ] |
After school, I went and saw Maya<3 I was sitting at our bench, reading farenheit 451 (best book ever) and she walked up and asked me how I was. I just started mumbling and was really quiet. I almost died. Then she asked me what I was reading and I couldn't remember the name. I COULDN"T REMEMBER THE TITLE OF THE BOOK I WAS READING LIKE TWO SECONDS BEFORE. I just slurred out the title all backwards, and magically, somehow she managed to understand me. She's read it a couple of times too. I can't believe I still get so nervous around her. I don't understand it. I mean it's not like it's a bad but it's probably annoying to her because the first like 15 min. or so when I meet her, I'm quiet and like mumble things and forget stuff.
Maya is hXc stressed out. Unfortunately, I can't help her like she helps me when I'm like this. Or I don't think I can. I don't know how she does it. I've been talking to her tonight and trying to help by telling her that through all of this, she'll be a better person, stronger, will know more about yourself and that this will just stretch her more. I have had this conversation with someone before quite a bit of times. When I have it with that person, I usually feel more motivated and that things will be better. I'm not sure if it worked for her though. I really hope so because I can't stand to see her this stressed out.
All eyes on me.
I can't take the pressure.
All eyes on me.
Breathe without making a sound.
All eyes on me.
Don't expect perfection.
All eyes on me.
'Cause I won't fail to let you down.
I wrote that around 10:00. It's now 2:30 and this is what I feel:
Through recent relationships, I've looked for something undescribable, you don't know exactly what it is, but you can tell when you find it. It's a feeling. In these last relationships, I have virtually done everything I can to keep them going. I've sacrificed many things trying to find this feeling when I realized this feeling can't come from one person doing everything they can. It has to come from two people working together, caring and loving eachother. Talking to Maya tonight, I learned more about her. She is a lot like me in the way that she trusts everyone too much and gets walked on, people abuse her friendship and relationships with her. Now we're together and we've found that we shouldn't have to make sacrifices or compromises for this feeling that we both long for. Our ideas of love have dramatically changed since we met. We both thought we loved the people we were with before but being with someone that abuses you and your trust, everything you give them, that's not love, it's you trying to make something bad into love because it's what you're looking for and thats what you want, you'll do anything to get that. Both coming from relationships where not the best things happened, we understand that we both are lucky to have eachother and won't abuse what we have because we know that it's special and that it's hard to come by. We love eachother. We were affraid that not living as close to eachother would be hard but we agreed to take a chance and try it out, being more affraid of what we might miss out on. Maya is the best risk I have taken. I can't think of my life with out her in it. |
|
|
| ...your eyes maim me breathless again... |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|11:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | thrice- silhouette | ] |
Bad news. My gangsta Katie is sick. I know this because Katie knows this. Sorry, I just watched Fight Club and that movie is amazing. I find myself quoting it hours, even days later. I don't know if we'll be able to go see the movie and get veggie corn dogs, but there is still a chance. Everyone who reads this, and knows Katie, and even if you don't, pray for her to be well by tomorrow. If you don't know her, all you need to know is that she is amazing and is more gangsta than you'll ever be.
I'll get to see Maya tomorrow. I'll probably get to be with her atleast a couple of hours, depends on how long she can stay and if Katie is feeling better. Maya is still recovering from the accident. She has a big bruise on her tummy</3>SICK CREW 2K5:</b>
Baeyelee please get better!!!
Katie please get better!!!
Tomorrow will be a radical day like none other. One for the books.
Lateskies you gangsta ass tricks.
Love,
Kyle |
|
|
| ..they're like wolves at the door... |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|12:01 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | better, numb, sleepy<3 | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Juliana Theory- Duane Joseph | ] |
Today I had to finish some lame videos but Michelle came and kept me company. It was nice because those were the most boring movies ever. I talked to Maya and we worked everything out and she went to the doctors. She'll be okay. If there was any more pressure on her stomache, she could of had internal bleeding. That's really scary, I could of lost her. I love her so much. I would lose so much more than a girlfriend but I don't want to talk about that because she's alive and well, I just need to love her as much as possible.
My dog can't move her head now. She just moves her eyes around. I'm not sure if she's going to make it. Too many things are going on at once, it's overwhelming.
I just got done talking to Maya<3 We had the most entertaining conversation ever. Here's a little taste...
Maya:Kyle
Maya:im dying to kiss your lips
Me:i'm dead from the drawback of your lips. it's been long. too long and i've cleaned my whole room...with a toothbrush...i have all these scabs on my face from picking at myself. WAIT, ironically, i stopped doing meth the last time i kissed you. that explains a lot.
Haha, amazing conversation.
I took some nyquil and I don't feel any better, but my body is all weird and kinda numb. Haha, this is bad because I like it. WHERE'S THE NYQUIL! Just kidding. That would be horrible, but some water sounds good right now.
Michelle got me a bunch of cd's. I filled a computer up with Bright Eyes, Fall Out Boy, Rufio, Saves the Day, Maroon 5, and Ashlee Simpson. I can't wait to La La.
Tuesday I'll see Maya at 3 until whenever I meet Katie for our movie and vegetarian hot dog on a stick. I'll probably get to be with my love for a couple of hours<3 I'm so excited for Tuesday. Katie and I have to get there early so we can make sure to get in. So Katie, if you read this, we need to work this out ASAP! I'll probably talk to her tomorrow though.
I'm getting sleepy now.
Love,
Kyle |
|
|
| Someone fax me the halibut |
[Apr. 3rd, 2005|12:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | afraid | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Juliana Theory- Autumn in Bethany | ] |
I'm scared.
That guy that was on my girlfriends screen name who was telling me how he thought I was gay and all that stuff, IMed me and apologized. It was cool that he did that but while doing this, he just kept telling me how lucky I was to have her and that millions of guys would kill to be in my shoes. I agreed because I am lucky to have such a wonderful girl but then he said that he would kill to be in my shoes and so would a bunch of other guys. Infact, he named three or four. I don't know if he attentionally wanted to make me feel like shit again, but he did. It's not that I don't trust my love, it's that I don't trust this guy, he's an asshole to me and I don't think he cares how I feel, he just wants her, and if he want's her bad enough, I'm afraid he'll just go after her. I'm scared that if he does something with her that she'll just be with him because he obviously likes her a lot. He sees her more than me. I didn't know what to say to him when he told me that. There were a lot of things going on in my head but I chose to stay quiet about it. I don't know if that was the best thing. I don't know if I should tell her about this. I don't know what to do. I'm sure everything will be okay but knowing that that guy likes her scares me. Everything is out of my hands. I can't prevent anything from happening. If something happens, then I'll have to live with it. It would break my heart. There are things that she does to make me feel like the best guy alive, and then something like that is said to me and I just jump to the worst conclusion. I need to stop. I'm sure nothing will happen though, she knows I love her and I know that she wouldn't hurt me so I should just shut up.
That's the least of my worries...
My love was in a car accident on the way to a party tonight. She got home but she was hurt. They were late to this party, and whoever was driving ran a red light and a car hit them. I guess both cars were pretty messed up. On impact, a set of golf clubs hit her in the stomache and it's hurting her to breathe. I'm scared that she might be hurt. I want to be with her and tell her she'll be alright but I can't. I want to do anything and everything for her but because of the distance, it seems to limit me. I hate how something so small can keep me from her. I love her and I miss her. I want her to be okay. Please pray for her.
Tonight could of been a lot worse. It makes you think about what's really important. I realized that I could of easily lost the girl that I love so much. I could of lost the girl that makes me the happiest guy in the world. Then I think about what I was doing when this happened. I was filming a bunch of horrible high school bands. Wow. How fucking cool am I? Not that I would of been able to see her tonight, she had to work, but knowing that something bad can happen at anytime really makes me appreciate what I have, and yet scare me for what I can lose, or what I'll never experience. I love her more than anything and I hope she will be alright.
Pray for her please. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|08:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | <3 | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the strokes- is this it? | ] |
I went to school, it was way boring. The real fun started after school.
I caught a bus downtown and met my love there. She just got her haircut and she looks soo good. I love it. We walked to the park and sat and talked. The bench was uncomfortable, so we went to the grass and my butt got wet. Maya gave me my surprise!! It's a teddy bear for my jungle. It's a light brown color, amazingly soft, and she sprayed it with her perfume. It reminds me of her so much. OMG!!! I just touched it and it made a noise!!! I didn't know it could do that!! Tee hee, it's Maya's voice<3 "Have a good day, you're the best" I love her so much. That makes me so happy. I can't wait till later tonight when I sleep with it. Not only that, but it had her pearls on it. Haha, I'm going to take a myspace picture like the one she took with these pearls and then we're going to put them up and see who's prettier. Haha. I lost track of time and didn't leave the park until 4:06. Sorry Katie.
I walked quickly to the sqaure and met my gangsta Katie. We road the bus to Goodwill in search of gangsta attire but left with nothing. It was just a bad day for gangsta clothing. We went and got veggie hot dogs on a stick at Pioneer Place. I didn't even know those existed. Katie got this ticket pass thing for a new movie coming out and we're going to go see it on Tuesday. It's got Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore. I'm going to meet her, then we're going to fill up our Hot Dog On a Stick card with more veggie dogs on sticks then go watch the movie. We have to get there early, the ticket says first come first serve for seats. I hope we make it.
I'm sleepy from this exhausting day, I think I'm going to go lay down with my new bear, tee hee<3
Lateskies el-jay'rs
Love,
Kyle |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|09:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | better tron 5000 | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | thrice-opaque (acoustic bitches) | ] |
Cello el-jay:
I have tried to update you only three times already. I've tried to update so much that my mood has changed...for the better.
Last night, I got home and my mom told me to get some food out of the refridgerator, but we don't have one of those, in place of it is a blue cooler that rests in the garage. I headed out in there and found some noodles. These noodles were a week old. I didn't know this. I ate them and got sick. My step dad ran into my room yelling at me. I thought I had slept through my alarm again but when I looked at my clock, it read 4:03. I was so sleepy I didn't know what he was talking about. He was saying that I was stupid for eating the noodles, like I knew they were old, they looked fine and didn't taste weird. Anyway, he left my room and my eyes filled up with tears. I layed in bed listening to him and my mom talk about how stupid I was. "I can't believe he at that, he is so stupid. He's going to get real sick and he'll know he learned his lesson when he's puking his stomache out!"
Eventually I fell asleep and awoke with a horrible stomache ache. I puked a couple of times and felt quite a bit better. Now I had to deal with my parents. I had to listen to what they were yelling at eachother about last night again, except they said it to my face. Wonderful. They won't drop it either, we had company over and they told them. Two of the people were smart and stood up for me. It was kinda kewl. I don't know if they noticed that i caught that but I did and I really appreciate it.
Maya called me and we talked. She really made everything change. She was the one that changed my mood tonight. She said that she was sorry and that she couldn't believe they did that. She said that she loved me and that she was sorry too. "I need to see you tomorrow". What makes all of this hard, is that parents are supposed to love you through anything and I don't get that from them, instead I get it from friends and my girlfriend. I would rather be with her anyday than my parents. I feel so much better after talking to her. We had a great conversation and because it was very personal and dealing with what was going on in my life, I know she learned more about me and I learned more about her. I learned how much she cares for me<3
God is making things come together and happen for a reason. The reason to these unfortunate events I think is bringing me closer to Maya. That conversation we had on the phone was the best one I have had with her ever. It's weird how lame things bring people together. It's true for everything too, like 9/11 and events like that. Tomorrow I'm going to see her. I thought I would only see her for a couple of minutes, which isn't long but would help emmensily but I don't have an 8th period so after 7th period, I'm catching a bus to meet her. Then at 4, I'll see Katie and we'll be well dressed gangsters faux life at Goodwill.
SEANTRON brought in the new Atmosphere cd. It has all songs that are unreleased. AMAZING. I can't wait to bump that "s" in my mini disc player.
Maya fixed my broken heart<3
COUNTDOWN TILL WELL DRESSED WEDNESDAY:
16 and a half hours!!!!
Love,
Kyle |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|11:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | a lot of junk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bright Eyes- Waste of Paint | ] |
I guess today when I woke up, I just turned my alarm off and went back to bed. I also guess that my mom tried to wake me up. I was so sleepy that I didn't remember anything until I woke up on my own. By my own I mean my parents talking about how mad I make them, and how stupid I am. When I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom my mom said good morning and that she loved me. Bullshit. Fuck them. They drain me of everything.
My step dad drove me too school. I found my art sketch book. That made me really happy. My art teacher wrote me a list of artists she thought I would like and told me to check them out. How awesome is that? Pretty much amazing. Then I had Pulse Media, which is always kills me. It used to be fun. People ruined that for me though. Graphics, I lost my packet I was working on for like three class periods and I have an F in there. The best part of the day was not having an 8th period.
Randy and I went and got corndogs and saw my friend Dave. I miss him. He's so funny. He drove us down to the store and ate with us. I gave him such a rad nickname...bee hawkz! How amazing is that!?
I put some cd's on my new mini disc player. It took forever but I got some new Bright Eyes cd's from Leah.
I got online and Maya was on! I went to talk and it was her cousin or something. He was extremely protective of her. I can see why though, she's amazing and he doesn't want to see her get hurt but he was so protective that I was really scared. If I mess anything up he said he was busting caps and going to fuck me up. He asked me I don't know how many times if I had a car, and what my license plate number was. Then he proceeded with how he thought I was gay. Yeah, I don't know, but I pretty much wanted to cry. I usually can handle things like that but this day took to much out of me. I held everything in though. He could of been joking but I really don't care, if he was, it wasn't funny. I don't know what about me makes people think I'm gay. Anyway, he said that he liked me and that I seemed alright for Maya. That's good. I don't want to die or anything. Haha, if he killed me, I could probably file it as a hate crime because I'm "gay". At the end of our conversation I said that it was nice talking to him and to have a good night. He told me to stay straight. Yeah, um, I don't know. This shouldn't bother me but it does. I guess sometimes I take things too seriously.
I haven't talked to Maya at all today. I miss her. I guess she's in Seattle. I hope she had a goodtime with her padre. I'm kind of worried though because I haven't talked to her and she was supposed to get home earlier tonight, or atleast I thought. I usually atleast talk to her online but oh well. I'm sure I'll talk to her tomorrow. I pretty much need to because yeah um, she's Maya, enough said.
Me and Leah left to the bus. I missed my last bus home and was stuck at the mall. It was still open so I went in and my friend Trevor was working. That was about at 9:30. He said he'd give me a ride and that he got off work at 10:00, so it was chill. The extremely gross lady working with him wouldn't do anytyhing, instead she counted the money and Trevor cleaned the whole place. She even made me work. THis kinda made me mad because I applied for a job there and didn't get hired and then she told me to help him. Bitch. Anyway, we didn't get out of there until 10:45.
On the way to my house, we went through the industrial park in Milwaukie and he was drifting around the corners like nobody's business. In the parking lot he pulled his e-brake, and spun the wheel. We spun around to the max. It was crazy.
When I got home everyone was in bed and Michelle had called me, so I called her back and we talked for a little bit. She was being a sad slut. Hopefully I made her feel a little better.
Tomorrow is Fallout Boy and I'm not goingCOUNTDOWN TILL WELL DRESSED WEDNESDAY:</b>
One day...
This day hopefully will change my week around.
Love,
Kyle |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|11:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chillzilla | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | From Autumn to Ashes-Chloroform perfume | ] |
I woke up this morning, put on my best Thrice shirt (I only have one...) and went to church. I actually learned some pretty interesting things but I'm too lazy to say them right now. Got home from church and layed around and watched Kill Bill and then Supersize Me. Great movies.
Michelle got a hold of me and after dinner I met up with my sluts and we went to Fred Meyers and got some beads. We made some kewl bracelets at Michelle's house. Michelle's family kind of left her and so did Lacey's so we decided that us sluts would hang out and turn Easter into Slut Day. That's what inspired the bracelets and all our fun for the day.
I got home and Maya called me. Her phone died within three minutes. My love left me with these words..."Oh fuck". It was really funny. I don't get to see her tomorrow but when I see her next, it's going to be off the chains. Haha, GOLDEN.
Tomorrow I'm putting all my cd's on my new mini disc and some of Leah's too because she has good ones and I'm a music whore like that. I think I'm going to make some sleepy cd's tomorrow too. During winter break, I went on music binge and bought a bunch of albums, all of which are screamo or bonkers so not the best to sleep to. I'm going to definately get some of The Cure's cd's and The Strokes because they are infact chillzilla.
On Tuesday I might go to the beach for the day with MIchelle and the slut brigade (lacey) and some other people I've never met. I'm not sure if I should skip though. If Michelle decides to go, I'll probably go because she's good at making those school decisions. She tells me what I need to do whether I want to hear it or not. It's awesome, except when it's not what I want to hear haha.
COUNTDOWN TILL WELL DRESSED WEDNESDAY:
Two days...
I can't wait.
Love,
Kyle |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
just_premoted's journal